GrannyRant

Granny calling….I woke this morning with a tongue like Ghandi’s flip flop! It was 10.00am and aunty was already pootling about in the kitchen, water, water, I need water! Martin was still snoring and Uncle wasn’t up yet either, we went to bed as the birds started singing, it could be a slow and easy morning of recovery I think. Aunty and I chatted on the deck and I came to life slowly.

Once everyone was up, we ate breakfast of vanilla yogurt, blueberries and toast with butter. Lots of tea and coffee flowed and we all felt a bit better. Aunty was sensible and had ‘left us to it’ with the vodka, therefore she was in much better shape than the rest of us. Kate was still in bed when we left for our visit to ‘The Western Development Museum’ a museum dedicated to the development of Saskatchewan from around 1910 and it holds lots of old farming equipment, cars and buildings set up as they were back in the day. They employ a lot of Senior Citizens who tell you all about how life was in the early years of Saskatchewan’s history and it was very interesting. We got loads of pictures including one of us sat at the Railway station in ‘Bootleg’ I wonder where that name came from?

Afterwards we went for our first fix of Tim Horton’s coffee and headed off to the ‘Taste of Saskatchewan Event in the grounds behind the “Bessborough Hotel in Saskatoon. There a stalls from all the local restaurants and you buy tokens to sample the food, we had Pad Thai with chicken (veggie version for Martin), this consists on egg noodles, fried with bamboo shoots and bean sprouts, onions and chicken and topped with peanuts. We also had some ribs and topped it off with ‘Berry Barn’ Saskatoon Berry tart, pancakes and whipped cream. So much food, we failed to eat it all, we were all stuffed!

There was a live band playing a, called ‘September Long’ Kate knew the lead singer from high School and they were great, I will be watching out for an album which they promise is coming soon. We went to see the ‘Ultimate Man shed’ you could buy tickets to win it, what a shed! Inside there was a sauna, 3 TV’s DVD player, shower, bed, beer fridge, oven, dishwasher and a whole pile of tools that went with it, the only thing missing was a woman, I wonder why? It was huge and we all said we wouldn’t be able to fit it in our Garden’s. The atmosphere was lively and happy and we met some friends of Aunty and Uncle’s all nice people who wished us a happy holiday. There was one guy who was slightly odd though, he was called Wes, and wore huge biker boots, a bandana and looked like a throw back to 60’s USA. Nice guy but a bit of a fruit loop I think. Uncle is convinced that since he stopped boozing, he has gone a bit crazy!

From the Taste of Saskatchewan, we went to Kinsmen Park to watch Katy play ball, she played really well and hit a great strike that created a home run, threw a ball in that got a girl knocked of home base and did a great slide into 3rd base which resulted in grazed elbows and mud all over the front of her shirt, more washing for Aunty. It was great to watch, we plastered ourselves with Mozzie cream and weren’t bitten and Kate’s team won 7-5, a great time was had by all.

Back home, we ate toasted cheese and onion sandwiches, crisps and raw vegetables and dip. Drank lots of tea and water (we didn’t need any alcohol we were still recovering) and went to bed by 11.15 absolutely pooped!

Another great day, to be continued….Granny

Granny calling….getting out of bed later every day, could it be due to the fact that we were late to bed again? Yesterday went by in a flash, as does every day and by the time we had sat on the deck for the morning, shopped for ‘stuff’ to take to Joan and Henry’s for supper, it was time to shower and get out of the house!

During the day we mooched around, it was quite hot and I got burned on the deck, my arms look like striped tomatoes, red, white and freckles in between. Martin has been eaten by the mozzies and we are trying new lotions and potions all the time to try and fight the bleeder off! Aunty and I have been to Body Shop and found some Satsuma Body Butter that is supposed to deter them but I think they like it!

We left for Henry and Joan’s house at around 5.30 loaded with beer, vodka and tonic in ice boxes. We also had a box with Katy’s macaroni salad (she made a veggie version for Martin), chicken wings, Caesar salad, veggie sausage and burgers and huge prawns. The boot of the van was chokka block!

Joan’s yard, is her pride and joy and it’s really pretty. She has lots of flowers, solar light everywhere and some of these lights change colour I think Uncle may be getting some of those, he has to ‘keep up with the Jones’! Hanging on the shed is a bird box and pair of sparrows is flying back and forth dutifully feeding their chicks. Joan is also growing tomatoes, peppers and corn and the grass is cut to perfection. Lot’s of talking and banter and more talk of Corrie with Henry as the beer and V&T flowed. Dave arrived and joined us at the table and then Joan got home from work to complete the party. Fire up the Barbecue and wait for supper.

The food was fabulous, the salad, the chicken, more beer and more vodka and tonic. The ‘boys’ go outside for a smoke and light the fire pit. It was difficult at first but once it was going and we all sat around the fire laughing and telling stories, it was great. Katy disappeared quite early as she said in her best ‘Australian Accent’ I’m tai-ud (that’s the best way I can write it as she says it) and she slept on the couch until we were ready to leave. We must have got home about 1ish, but I can’t swear to that having drunk way to much V&T, we ate pretzels and talked for ages and Uncle checked out the golf on ‘Sports desk’ I can’t remember going to bed, but I slept like a log! Another fabulous day full of lovely memories and really great people……..to be continued …Granny 

Picture this, it’s someone’s birthday and you have to buy a really special card. You haven’t seen this person all year and you really want to push the boat out and post a card of distinction, not just any old card, but a £4.99 card with a lovely verse, you know the ones that are a bit like a small novel when you read them.

You pop out in your lunch break and forego eating your sandwich because it’s so important to send this card to your best friend in all the world. You take care choosing it, you read every syllable to make sure that it says exactly what you want it to say. You decide on the right one and take it to the checkout, you take care to keep it flat and ensure that you get back to the office with it in pristene condition and think about what to write on it.

Before you can write on it, you have to get it out of the bag and believe me this is not going to be easy! First you hold it up to the light to see where the little pull tag is on the plastic, you scratch a couple of areas that look likely to no avail. Calm down now don’t get into a fluster (you say this under your breath). You then realise that there is a sticky bit which opens like an envelope…phew, you breathe a sigh of relief, it’s going to be easy now, you can relax…..Or can you ?

You finally get this object of beauty out of the bag and sit back and admire it. It really was a good choice, she will love this card and I know she will appreciate the really gushy sentiment because she’s my best friend and we have been through a lot together. then…out of the corner of your eye you spot it (queue ‘JAWS’ theme music) the dreaded sticker, Oh No! It’s right over the top of the only bit of glitter on the card, if you rip it off it will take that glitter off with it. Breathe, ….that’s it.. inhale deeply, it should be easy, it says ‘peel here’ how difficult can it be?

You try to get the edge of your finger nail under the corner, no joy, so you get your staple remover gadget and try to get the pointy bit under it, it’s not happening. You ask 3 of your colleagues, one of who thinks she is the Goddess of sticker removers and you watch as she bends and twists your beautiful £4.99′s worth until it resembles a discarded newspaper from a litter bin.

Finally, you manage to lift the corner of the damn thing and you peel it very carefully until it’s off, never daring to breathe until the whole of the sticker is detached from the card and …yes….you guessed, all of the glitter and the little yellow bow, is attached to the sticker. By now the air is blue, you have to spend another £4.99 on a new card and it would be cheaper and far less stressful to just give her a ring and say happy birthday….so to all the ‘card sellers’ out there, stick your stickers up your proverbial A***………………….

What is it with people in towncentres and supermarkets, that makes them want to stand in groups and talk, right in front of the shop/shelf you need to get to? If they want to chat, do it in the cafe, the car park, or somewhere that doesn’t cheese off the rest of the stressed public!

I have just been to a supermarket where ‘every little helps’, which incidentally in our town is supposed to be the ‘Express’ version of the store? (that’s a joke right). I had 20 minutes to spare and needed to be in and out. I have now come to the conclusion that there is no way it can be done. It’s full of people using a supermarket as a meeting place, to discuss all manner of shite they could just as easily chat about elsewhere. They are probably talking to people they live 2 doors from and could shout over the garden wall.

You can spot them from the door, for instance, the bread is in aisle one, right between the crumpets and the pitta bread stands 4 members of the blue-rinse brigade and they can see you coming…as you approach they close ranks. The largest of the four, who must be deaf from the way she’s shouting, turns her back on me and pulls her shorter friend towards her ample bosom. Now I have lost sight of the crumpets and start ducking and diving like a meerkat to see if there are any left? I’m not even going to think about looking for the price, because if I can get at them at all, it will be a bloody miracle!

Then suddenly they decide they will move for me to browse the shelf, but now they are right in front of that crusty loaf I’m after, so I’m stuffed again and find myself apologising for moving them so that I can shop!

Off we go again, manouvering my wonky wheeled trolly to the end of aisle one and tentatively turning left into the pleasantly cool, chilled aisle where I try and find the milk I want. Horror of horrors, I am now confronted by a young Mother almost pulling her hair out because of a screaming two year old having a tantrum over the yogurt. She apologises for his antics offering the excuse…”terrible twos eh”? Terrible, this kid was the genuine child from hell right at that moment, spitting and kicking because he couldn’t get his own way. If he’d have been my child I think I would have walked away, left him screaming and picked him up when I had finished shopping. I could still hear him screaming when I finally got to the checkout!

Right, so far it’s taken me ten minutes to do two aisles..I run around frantically picking up the items I want, dodging more old aged terrorists and half a dozen supermarket workers with huge cages, trying to stock shelves (why don’t they employ night shift workers for that?). I fly down the wine aisle picking up a nice Chardonnay and a couple of bottles of Magners for my significant other and race towards the finish line.

I weave in and out of the queues to the self service ‘express checkout’ with three minutes to spare. Press the start button, scan the wine and bingo… “approval needed” says the automated message. Is there a member of staff anywhere to be found…you guessed it…NO! Two minutes later, here comes a Lily Savage lookalike and I resist the temptation to say “took your time didn’t you”, taps in the number and away I go again. I frantically try to get the cider through while she’s still there, but too quickly she disappears out of sight and the dreaded approval needed message goes again. I’m over time now and any chance of me getting to my appointment on time is fading fast! By the time I finish wrestling with the bags, trying to get the bent twenty pound note into the slot and taking my change, I have been in the store 40 minutes.

I pick up my bags, let out a sigh of relief and glance to my left as I approach the exit doors…they are still there, chatting away, not a care in the world and some bloke is still trying to get hold of some crumpets. It ought to be outlawed, how the Hell they can call shopping retail therapy is beyond me. Therapy is what you need after you leave the shops and as for calling any supermarket ‘express’ should be against the Trades Descriptions act!!

“Three out of four people say they would rather be assured of one day a week to spend with family and friends than to have extra hours to shop on a Sunday” (NOP Consumer Poll, 2005)

Anyone will tell you that life is busy, and it doesn’t seem to be getting much easier either. In 2005, 3.6 million of us in the UK regularly worked more than 48 hours a week, and the incidence of long hours working in this country is more than two and half times the average for the EU. It’s perhaps not surprising that work-related stress affects more than one in five people and is the cause of more than 13 million lost working days a year. What we need is time to stop and time to rest. (www.keepsundayspecial.org.uk) This was written 5 years ago but still rings true.

I am sure that the people who have to work in shops, supermarkets, petrol stations and such like, would love to get a whole day off but (and there is always a but) what about people like me, who can’t get anything done, other than at the weekend? Do we try and cram everything into Saturday, therefore creating another working day? Do we take a day off work every week or so to do shopping, car repairs, doctors, dentist etc? I am sure I am not alone in trying to fit life around work and not finding it easy, so Sundays are precious but also hard work for the majority of people.

Typical to do list for Sunday includes (sharp intake of breath) washing, cleaning the house, the car, the windows and anything that stands still long enough. Cooking the lunch and preparing food to freeze for during the week. Ironing a huge pile of clothes including numerous sorts of uniforms. Gardening, tidying up the yard, visiting ageing parents and children/granchildren. Checking your bank account and paying bills online. Shopping…don’t even go there! This list is in no way exhaustive.

Oh how I would love to spend my Sunday, getting up late, staying in my dressing gown until I finish reading papers, sipping tea on the patio in the sunshine, popping out for lunch, having a snooze in front of the TV…..isn’t that what it’s supposed to be like? Apparently so….